Trying makes it worse

[Appleblossom]

Hey @tonys 

@EternalFlowerI have had a few different experiences with NDIS so it helps me keep perspective.  Not all bad.  Not all great.  I can imagine being off kilter when you were not supposed to have the shift.  I had that stuff happen a bit and also the opposite, when they did not show.  My support worker at the time was good and I appreciate knowing him.  Had 2 others and now on a new one.  It can feel like a life of appointments instead of a life.  Working on that, but guess wot. I got the dreaded lergy so all plans out the window for a bit.  

It takes a while to feel at home somewhere.  I have really dug in deep where I am now, but after so much moving as a kid I guess that is natural.  Is it groundfloor? Is there any garden.

Like @Sophia1 nature is a huge part of my life.  Need to stay in atm tho.

@Oaktree 's another nature girl ... 

so is @tonys a Nature Boy. Gently Bently with the rehab and the nurses....lol

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Iq0XJCJ1Srw 

[Oaktree]

Hi @Appleblossom 

Yes you are right, I am a nature girl. I feel at home in the forest. 

@EternalFlower For a long time I fought against the local mental health clinic. They wanted to fill my life with groups and appointments. I just wanted to live a normal life. I don’t want my life to be about my illness. I am doing really well now! Doing things my way. I have a really great support worker whom I like and get on well with. I go on outings with her. It stops me from isolating at home. She is almost like a friend and I am comfortable with her. I hope you find people to work with that you can feel comfortable with too.

Meggle

[EternalFlower]

Hello all

I am in the ED again

I was so anxious and sh

My friend makes little judgey comments that because I've changed so much like new catchment area new Dr I have no one who knows me well...ie the ed has offered me a psych drug I am allergic to. I was sad they didn't know this but it's a new hkpsitla but yes I an annidiot for moving and yes I desefvd all this deserve to die

But it wasn't my choice all this change it isn't my fault it isn't just a bad move I was trying my best

[Oaktree]

Hi @EternalFlower 

You don’t deserve to die. People are allowed to move. Just be kind to yourself. You will be ok. Just speak up and tell them that you are allergic. Sending you warm wishes and strength!

Meggle

[EternalFlower]

Hi all @Appleblossom @tonys @Sophia1 I don't want to trigger anyone but having such a bad time and in the ED

I have ruined so much

I know it 

Stuff won't and can't work and it's just cycles of admissions and help seeking with no one around who cares.

My friend Elle was my emergency contact and when inwas last in hospital she just disappeared tor three weeks not a call not a text.

This is who I am I have no one solid.

I will never 

I am just going to get kicked around 

The nurses are neglecting me completely overnight not even a hello

[EternalFlower]

Well said @Oaktree 

It is weird here the night nurses are weird.

I am tired but fighting asleep.

Keep loving nature, is it Ur free spirit, a reflection of?

I am feeling sad and neglected here in the hospital 

@moderator @tyme @Owlunar2 @tonys @Appleblossom @TAB 

[TAB]

I hope things get better for you @EternalFlower 

[Owlunar2]

Hi @EternalFlower 

I'm sorry this is happening to you  - it's really rough - I hear you

You are a sensible and sensitive person  - you do not deserve to die - you do deserve the attention you need  - it's no one's fault when they are ill - it happens   - alas

You know not to take medication you are allergic to - or any thing you are concerned about  - the first contraindication is patient refusal - this might be frustrating for the medical staff - but you have that right 

I want to check as much as I can on line before I submit  - and I get it - it's really hard and a lonely place to be  - we have that right though 

I hope things improve today  - we can only hope 

Best wishes 

Owlunar 

[Oaktree]

@Owlunar2 

You are indeed a wise owl!

Love you Mumma Bear

@EternalFlower 

I just think I hear my soul best when I am alone in the forest. I love to hear the birds sing when waking up too. So many things about it are lovely. I really wanted to do an end to end on the Bibbulman track but problem is that as I get older it will be getting harder. May have missed the opportunity. I did 3 weeks once. Walked from Kalamunda to Collie. 

I really hope you will be able to find some help today. Thinking of you! Please look after yourself. Sleeping is probably helpful but it tends to be difficult in ED. 

Meggle

[Appleblossom]

@EternalFlower I am sorry to hear you are in ED. I agree with the others. You deserve to live. Little judgy comments are hard. Are they friend or foe? Not sure all behind your decision to move. Its done now when you get home make the most of it. I dont have much solid in relationships I can rely on either just glimmerings. SH and SI are responses to despair. Find ways to shake it off. Others may come and go people have many of their own needs. Nobody deserves self harm. Gently bently

@Oaktree your walks and posts are inspiring. I know not all life is easy for you and am interested how you found your path to so many good strategies and ways of being.