Lived Experience Forum

[Zoe7]

He will always have a balloon in your heart @Eve7 

[Owlunar]

Silver linings - Yes @Zoe7 

They are there - I still miss my old cat - it's nearly 3 years since she died - I don't want to replace her yet - if ever - she was a very special cat

Your furry family is precious too

[Daisydreamer]

Time and space to "go through" grief is such an important point @Zoe7

[Eve7]

Aww thank you @Zoe7 . I think I've shared too much tonight.

[Zoe7]

@Adge 

@Shaz51 

[Owlunar]

The losses pile up @Shaz51 

Finding one of  your clients would be hard - it's important to give all of these things space in our hearts - and give them time - we need that time to heal

[Daisydreamer]

While we are getting answers coming through from the community about ways of coping, I might pass to you Amanda to tell us a bit more about supporting a loved one. 

Question 5 @amandaGL How do you support a loved one experiencing grief?

[Zoe7]

No Hon I don't believe you have @Eve7 It is sometimes really good to be part of these things and be able to get it out - so pleased you are here with us tonight 

[Former-Member]

@Owlunar I can completely relate to you with this one. I lost my dog who meant the world to me last december and I'm still not ready to get another dog. It's important that we do that in our own time and don't rush the process.

[amandaGL]

Question 5 @amandaGL How do you support a loved one experiencing grief?

Our basic human nature is to quickly respond to people who are in distress. However, it’s important to remember that this is something you can’t fix - as nothing you do will bring them back or restore what they’ve lost. 

But you can be supportive.  Don’t be afraid to say or do the wrong thing - not doing anything is worse.  Too often we shy away from people who are grieving - leaving them feeling abandoned when they need us most.  

Be led by them – whether they want to talk, cry, be silent or angry… sit in that space with them.  If you don’t know what to say be honest; “I have no comprehension of what you’re going through right now but I am here for you”.  Please don’t ever say “I know what you’re going through” – this can be very dismissive of a person’s UNIQUE grief experience. 

Talk about the person they’ve lost – reminisce about their good qualities and the good times you had with them.  Share photos and videos of them, play their favourite music, tell their worst jokes! etc.  Just because the person has died doesn’t mean the memory of them should be lost.

And be patient, there is no time limit on grief - no one should ever be pressured to “move on” or “get over it”.