Lived Experience Forum

[Owlunar]

Losing y our house is a major event @Shaz51 - as is losing your mum to dementia - you still have her but she is going away - I understand that

And you have lost your health too - and  Mr Shaz is always so anxious - your life has a lot of uncertainly - a loss of certainty must be a cause for grief also

[Zoe7]

26 @Owlunar 4 months to the day after my Nan died 

[Daisydreamer]

Thanks for being here @Adge  I think you've raised a really good point around memory, and that exisiting PTSD can impact the way we remember loved ones. For each person, memory will look different and it may be the case we can remember a lot or not remember a lot. 

I was always amazed by the periods of time in life I still can't remember with grief and before grief, and have learnt over time that it's okay for my experience with memory to be different to other loved ones and friends. 

I'm so sorry to hear how painful it has been to not have those memories So many heavy things on your shoulders right now- we are always here to listen

[amandaGL]

Hi @Owlunar , that is a very powerful response to the loss of your son and so heart-warming to know that he gave you such a precious gift.  If there's one thing death can't take away from you it's the bond you had with him.  That can never be broken.  

I love that you have focused on your strengths in dealing with your grief - the fact that you never abandoned him.  We use strengths-based grief work a lot at Griefline.  

[Owlunar]

Aw @Zoe7  - 26 - that's young - and exactly 4 months after your Nan - that is not a fun coincidence

[Zoe7]

I was the last one Nan spoke to as well @Owlunar 

[Former-Member]

What helped me get through my grief was journaling. Being able to write out my thoughts and feeling was very helpful to me. I also found connecting with family, friends and pets helpful during my times of grief. 

Its also been important for me to practice self care and look after myself through going for walks, eating well, practicing mindfulness and making sure i am getting enough sleep. This can be difficult to do when experiencing grief but, in my opinion, is very important.

[Owlunar]

Strength-based grief work is something I would like to learn about - not here tonight - but I will follow it up. @amandaGL 

And you are right - death can never take my son's gift away from me - it took a long time to find - had I pushed my grief away I would never have found that - and it's pretty wonderful - I believe I am able to give of myself to other people because of it - and this is worthwhile

[Htoo]

i wonder where i might read shared experiences of ABI

[Zoe7]

@Former-Member It is also importsnt to 'go through' the grief and allow yourself the time and space to feel it - whether that be cry or do nothing for a time.