Lived Experience Forum

[Max7]

Hi, I'm new here. I live far away from my family and friends who could support me, I can't find any work at the moment, my father is a narcissist with whom I have broken off contact and I can not control my emotional outbursts when fighting with my partner and want to hurt myself or destroy something else. I don't know how much longer I can deal with it..

[tyme]

Hey there @Max7 ,

Thank you for sharing. I’m so sorry you are feeling so low right now. I hear how challenging your situation is. 

I can see that you have insight into what’s going on which is truly a great start. 

Do you have any professional supports you can reach out to to unpack and work through some of these emotions?

I can certainly relate to the outbursts as these were a regular for me in the past. I’ve been fortunate to have therapist to work through these and it’s come to a place where I am in a lot more control. 

Sometimes, talking through some of what’s going on can really help even if it’s on these forums. By allowing some ‘steam’ to be released each time, it may allow you to reduce the number of times the ‘pressure cooker’ explodes.

What do you think?

Please know your feelings are valid. You are not alone. I look forward to hearing from you.

[Max7]

Hey @tyme, 

I’m really grateful for your response, thank you! 

Your words are giving me hope of not being alone with my feelings and that some people out there do understand me. 

I have been 2 years ago diagnosed with depressions, I that all came from my work so I changes the Place but nothing got better. I did the probably biggest step in my life and left my home country and went travelling for a long period. It felt like I did found something what I’m already used to: leaven people and locations whenever I want and keep myself busy with new places. It got me after a while, cause the life as a traveler is pretty much just on the surface with most people you meet.

I decided to slow down, found my Partner and thought from the first moment ‘that’s it’. I don’t wanna talk about a big love story now, just give you an understanding of my situation. 

I had a Job and could safe a bit money in the meantime. A couple weeks ago my Partner and I moved together and in the same time I quit my Job cause it was breaking me mentally and physically.
I know I need professional help, and I really want it. But cause of the responsibilities we got together and not having money to afford it, it’s not easy to go this step. I don’t have any other support here to have this deep and dark conversations, and the insurance is not paying for what I need right now. 
I try to open up to my partner but I feel so vulnerable, alone and misunderstood. 

That’s why I’m here and I’m, again, really thankful for everyone who’s listening. 

[Cindy3]

I am lost I have bipolar 2 bsp and just lost my husband

[RiverSeal]

Hey @Cindy3, thank you for joining the Forums and sharing your experiences with the community!

It takes courage to be vulnerable and you are demonstrating strength and resilience in reaching out to your peers. The Forums are a great place to connect and share what's going on for you with the community. There are some other great places to connect if you would like to check them out: Looking for a space to connect with others? Find a... - SANE Forums

Thanks again for being part of the community!

Take care

RiverSeal