Lived Experience Forum

[Rob-1969]

Hello all, I am new here

I have been drinking heavily for 16 years and it is something I need to change.

I know I can not do this on my own and will be seeing a professional for help in a weeks time.

I would greatly appreciate hearing from other people who have been through this and or are in the process, to find out how you are with it and see if I might be able to learn from it

Thanks in advance

[Clawde]

Hello @Rob-1969  welcome to our world, many of us in the same boat, have you tried AA I tried it, but found the politics were another level, but and however, the 12 steps really do work if only you apply yourself, and obviously you have done the first one, good on you 👍

[Rob-1969]

Thanks Clawde

Yes I went once, a couple of years ago, I wasnt keen on the holy part of it and how prevelent it was.  I also don't think I was ready for it,   I would say I went because i was asked to not because I wanted. I guess it might be worth another visit

[Clawde]

Hey @Rob-1969  yeah I get the god bit, however don’t go to a church thing even though they have the rooms easily available so these type of groups and it’s endless meet there, 2 meet people along the way that talk about a higher power, which in essence can be anything, 3 don’t open up until you are ready, if you want to learn about your self or want to try and polish your public speaking it’s the place, and the biggest thing remember to eat chocolate bars or something like it when you get a downer 4 get yourself out and about and look at @ many threads on this web site all of us have stuff going on, but at SANE website we are not alone anymore and that’s the big one welcome 👏

[TheJuZShoW]

Hi @Rob-1969 I can totally understand what you are going through. Even though I don't drink everyday I still consider alcohol a problem. I am on a website that can help you. It is called TNM. Please join up  to the community and correspond with people who went through it and quit successfully, still going through it or cutting back. 

Here is the website. @admins It's not what it looks like. I am trying to help. It's just the name of the organization/community. 

https://www.thisnakedmindcommunity.com/

There is also TNM book, which is also very helpful. I am also reading this too. I highly recommend it.

All the best!

[Rob-1969]

This a step forward for me and I hope the first of many, I have been suffering form what I guess is a form of mental illness since I lost my brother and have used alcohol to supress my feelings / grief.   Today I woke up confused and for the first time instead of agreeing to get help to keep the peace     I knew I need help  If I am speaking in the wrong place / or there is a better place just let me know

[NatureLover]

Hi and welcome, @Rob-1969  🙂

Good on you. Addictions are so difficult (I have some). 

A handy forum tip is if you type @ and click on a name in the drop-down box, that person will get a notification and won't miss your reply. 

I hope you find the forums supportive. 

[Paperdaisy]

Hi @Rob-1969 Thanks for reaching out here. I'm tagging @ButterflyBeauty here for you as she has lived experience and may be able to offer some helpful ideas. We recently ran a live event with https://hellosundaymorning.org/ so just putting this here as it may be of use to you, also just worth noting that moderation is not something that works for everyone and you know yourself best. 

I'm hearing that losing a loved one is the reason for your alcohol use. I'm so sorry for your loss, as I can relate to this and I'm wondering if you've spoken to anyone about it? https://griefline.org.au/ might be somewhere to start if you haven't started seeking support for this already. SANE Support Services are also there if you need them.

I wish you all the best with your recovery, you have taken the first step and often that is the hardest one. 😊Please take care 😊

[ButterflyBeauty]

Hello @Rob-1969,

It is really nice to meet you! Thank you for sharing your story with the SANE forum community. It takes great courage and strength to be honest. By sharing your experience, it gives others the opportunity to be reminded they are not alone and that there is hope for recovery!

I have been in recovery from alcohol & substance addiction for approximately 10 years. Before I was able to maintain a physical recovery from alcohol, I was completely defeated and broken by addiction. I had all intent of stopping but even with my best interests at heart, a few days later, my head would tell me that it might be different this time and I might be able to drink normally. This did not work. I began my journey of recovery by entering the AA 12 steps group as I needed a community of people whom could support me and remind me of the definition of insanity - 'doing the same thing over and over again. And expecting a different outcome'.  It was the first time I had met people who understood me and had experienced something similiar. I observed people who were celebrating 1 day, 30 days and 90 days sobriety. Having a shared experience with others and knowing that they had been able to get sober, gave me hope that if they could do it, then perhaps I could too. In addition to this, in the groups I met people who showed genuine care and love, something I had not experienced previously and these people where imperative in my recovery as they loved me, until I could love myself. My 'God' or 'Higher Power' when I first entered the room was simply the collective power of the group of recovering alcoholics and the ocean / nature.

After being able to maintain physical recovery from addiction, I realised that alcohol was what I used to numb or escape the underlying reasons of why I reached out to alcohol to feel ok in the world. I realised that it was imperative at this stage to begin the journey of 'emotional recovery' to support my physical recovery. For 10 years I have seen mental health professionals including clinical psychologists to help me work through the underlying causes - childhood trauma, loss and other challenges which contributed to my overall mental health. 

I would like to acknowledge that there is not one right way to find recovery from addiction and everyones path is individual. What works for me, might not work for you and vice versa. But I do want to reiterate that there is hope. I have a full life, one that I did not believe where possible when I was drinking. I have a loving partner and healthy family dynamics. I spend my time doing hobbies that I enjoy and I work in an industry that allows me to give back the gift that I was graced with many years ago. 

I am so pleased that you have reached out to this community. You are not alone!

Thank you

ButterflyBeauty

[TheJuZShoW]

@Rob-1969  Many condolences to you and your family for your loss. A lot of us have been there. 

The day My Grandmother died the first thing I did was drive in my car and go see my mother, whom was about a 15mins drive away from my town. I didn't drink. But before my partner at the time came over a day later I drank earlier in the day and I drank heavy. This was about 6 years ago and it still hurts.

There is always a better way to cope. Please try the recourse I recommend. It's a great first step and there are people out there who are going through similar problems as you on there! Blog your thoughts and feelings both here and TNM site. I am on three including here, TNM, and stil lon become an ex even though I don't smoke anymore. Every little bit helps. 

Another thing you could do is go to your doctor and get referred to a really good drug and alcohol counsilor or even a psychologist that may specialize in this sort of thing.

I hope you feel better and have your good days soon.