Trying makes it worse

[EternalFlower]

Hello forum friends 

I hope Ur weekends are good

So far

I have been breaking down boxes from my move which were sitting on my porch

And drafting emails to my ex dr that I'll never send

And calling helplines and whenever I get some appetite I try force some food down

Yesterday was watermelon and it felt so good to eat as I've been not able to for a while

I called the CATT today and have been told things are moving in linking me with a support worker and that was good.

@Melbcoffeesnob @tonys @Owlunar2 @Appleblossom @fluffylight @Dee64 @Sophia1 @tyme  @

[tonys]

Hello @EternalFlower   Writing letters you'll never send.  I like the way you put that.  A box of living moving thoughts that are unburdened from your mind and put on train predestined to derail.

That pulsating box of claws n teeth is out of your head and thats what maters.  Comes back again. . .

Send it again.       The value of pen on paper.      Thats why I like a journal.

Perfect  and imperfect.   each day you gather words and tools and learn to live in this place we call life.

Proud of you mate.                Hand in hand         tonys. 

[Sophia1]

Hello @EternalFlower 

Breaking down boxes is one way of releasing some tension...

saying goodbye to what has been and hello to what is here now..

New beginnings for you...

I know that you will find a way to bring you into your new home.

Loss of appetite is challenging ...I know this...I am prone to nausea and loss of appetite when things are upsetting.

You are doing the right thing...eating what you can stomach ..

Gentle foods for your stomach at first and watermelon is hydrating also..

Do you drink water regularly? The good old H2 O is most important...you might feel lightheaded..

Good to hear that you know how to reach out when you need to....

Take your time and look after yourself...

Hopefully  an optimistic, understanding support worker will be there before you know it.

Take care friend

Sophia

[EternalFlower]

@tonys 

Picking up the pieces

Scattered across the floor

Combination Of memories

Actions

Words and 

Wounds

Little steps

Retreats

Choices 

Chance.

I remember:

I was not sure who i could trust

You told me

There would be a time

When it would all make sense

I chose

I lost.

I get that each day is anew

But something is missing 

Something has flown.

[EternalFlower]

Thanks @Sophia1 lovely to see Ur post

Somehow the appetite comes back, and certain foods taste ok.

I drink chocolate milk sometimes or coffee

I eat mangoes.

And little cups of oranges and apples from woollies.

I have some good support. A friend contacted a mh worker they know who us seeing me tomorrow

It is bizarre but in desperation it really is whoever can get u in first

But then I will choose which I like. I just need space now.

I am meeting a mh practitioner called Sue tomorrow and hoping it is ok.

[tonys]

You wrote that for me @EternalFlower   Privileged, I dine at your table,   toast with our precious tears,

scribe words of pain with quills inked in blood.   But still we meet.  Still you fight.  Your heart beats beyond restraint.     Splash your words across the canvass where I can only marvel at the authenticity of your art.  

I tell you no lies my friend.   The embryonic phase will hurt and then some.

But still we meet. . .   Still you fight.  .  .  Your heart beats  enemies into submission. 

Parts of you leave,   carried by the doves of despair  But new born doves of hope will return at dawn.

Build there nest in you.

And tomorrow we shall meet again,     you will fight. .    and  foes will tremble at the sound  of a heart greater than mine.

Now's the time for sleep.     Wake to and welcome the doves, my dear friend   @EternalFlower 

tonys

[EternalFlower]

How are u @tonys @Owlunar2 @Appleblossom 

[tonys]

I'm . . .  Linear,   thankyou for asking.  @EternalFlower   More importantly,  how are you,    Was wondering,   but did not want to jynx you,   No news is sometimes good news,  you know how it is.

I have a  poorly lit specialty store on 26 n 7 avenue,  trades in misinterpreted signals,  mixed messages, and foreign language marriage counselling,   currently in receivership..      Boldly put.       I'm a blind man feeling for expression in faces missing  autistic  brail.

I could just as easily poke your eye out,   than help.   Its my condition.   But ,   here we are,   you,  and    me..

So.   What has the week done,  to you,   for you,   or with you,   my fine bed of floral spender.

My friend 2 doors down from me passed away last night.   So best I tell you Ive snuck a sip to cheat the emotional tax collectors from there prize.   I'll pay them in full tomorrow..   with  interest. !

I just pray that your sails have found favour with the trade winds..                            tonys..

[EternalFlower]

Oh lovely @tonys I'm so sorry to read that

I am sure there are no words for such a loss, I send u support. Appreciate you thinking of me

I am okay, I had a few friends drop off meals for me and ate normal food for the first time tonight. Haven't cooked for months and no interest so has left me eating m and ms or carrot sticks and coffee.

Have been ok, busy jusr from one day to the next, meeting new ndis workers. I have fired one and my other one disappeared.

Now I have a coordinator who finds them. They take me to appoitnemtns and around.

Hope u are OK tonight and hang in there, loss and grief is a devastator 

[tonys]

Thankyou so much @EternalFlower ,   I'm ok.   Just a little tilted.    Its that,   unforeseen word again.

Dealing with the   raw honesty of it,  seated in my self confessional,   what's the message.  Well thats just my vanity.  Picture doesn't belong to anyone but her,  and hers.   She had a meeting with a place and time and that's the truth of it.   Music stops,    your left with no chair.   Its just life..

Still,   the way those old hands played her cards.  Wondered why she was missing from the table.   Why they kept it from me.       She''ll always be at my card table.

Going to have one more toast before   Rn catches me..    Tomorrow can pull its weight for once and look after itself...   Good night    @EternalFlower     @  everyone