Trying makes it worse

[EternalFlower]

hi @tonys i hope you do share your widsom as you have a lot of insight a lot of the time, and i trust you

i saw as well certain trials, and i was myself interested in trying ketamine assisted therapy last year - i even met a dr in qld who was offering it. 
It's coming!

[TAB]

I got a cat and used to go to pub around corner a fair bit at one place was at 7 years maybe @EternalFlower 

[EternalFlower]

hey @TAB same besides the cat. do you still have a cat? whats its name?

i used to go to the laundromat a lot with my laptop which was always kinda social, to cafes, to the park, and sometimes had little routines where i'd journal at a cafe

not so many people would speak to me of the cafe-goers but the staff would chat a bit and ask about my life

sometimes theyd give me free coffees etc as i'm always lovely to service people

i'd chat a bit to my neighbours as well - but they were sometimes a bit too chatty lol

its weird finding your place

now where i live i feel a little exposed, its quiet and suburbs and people are rich - (i'm not) its a new kind of demographic

i hope i can fit in here and it could really help me get a bit more social. nice that i've had a lot of visitors so far. some still dont' come, even when i invite, which is hurtful

[TAB]

no , my last cat went to wherever in 2007 @EternalFlower 

I still talk to her  etc , okay not All the time..

self doubt combined with expectations can be a b ugger hey

 i moved to this place and felt so odd even 5months later.

I just try and smile and ignore things now when interacting with other people. better off at home on my own/ go somewhere else 

[Dimity]

My cat often starts conversations @EternalFlower @TAB and I have to second guess what he's asking for

I've been here years but hardly ever get out or have visitors. My neighbours have fallen out over the garden. Lots of change in the neighbourhood, getting very built up.

[TAB]

thats cool re cat @Dimity  ..mine used to run over my face to make me wake up and feed it lol..

i have become a bit indoors at new house of 8 months now guess. Have given up on being some sort of local whatever. prob am in dift way. Just that I smile and keep moving these days. Although I still get the strangest who the hell are you and why are you here looks fm locals esp at chemist where get 50-60 ish self important women. never got same reaction anywhere else. like Stepford Wives . Bizarre really ..

[Dimity]

Hmm maybe the local ladies are sussing you out @TAB , they probably don't see many newcomers. Small towns usually know everything about everybody from what I remember of them. 

There's a really high turnover here, lots of students and new immigrants. A few old-timers in original houses but very much outnumbered. Neighbourhood Watch folded years ago as noone knew their neighbours any more. 

[tonys]

@TAB   .....  Ears open mate.    @Dimity  is on to something and I hope you are receptive. 

You are a smart Fellow .   Personality goes a long way. . . So scape it together bro,  because you are a catch,  weather you want to believe it or not.  You have your own place . . .  You have better education, and general knowledge than anyone I've ever met  thats in my circle... Including me .   and you can   BS  your way through,

as required.    People on here gravitate to you,  and that takes special powers my friend.

Get a blackboard.   Put a goal on it.   One a day will do.  Its time to sort your act and stop depriving 

some big hearted lass of your company..  and yourself of all that is life..!

Probly I'm risking our friendship by  nagging you, ...  again.   But bro,   rise above all the small time BS.

Your better than this..   You of all people,  I believe,  can redirect your energies  and simply . . .

Put them to being organized and  fulfilled.  

No need to respond.. I'm going to sleep soon.  I don't waste time on crook horses.  Some how Tab,

You have to make some changes i feel my friend.  Gnite mate...

[TAB]

@tonys  Iwill re read tomorrow. 

Will make more sense. Thanks .

[tonys]

Well  mate. . .  trying makes it   'better'    not worse.   Sleeping in tomorrow.  Nite  @TAB