Lived Experience Forum

[Snowie]

I think it makes it easier talking to people who have had a lived experience @PinkFlamingo They can certainly relate and know where you are coming from.

Thanks for your take on talking about trauma. It certainly has given me a few things to think about.

I see my psych on Tuesday and I am hoping we can discuss some of the things that are worrying me at the moment.

I'd like to hear how you go with your next EMDR session.

Thank you, I hope your evening goes well too.

[Snowie]

Hopefully changing your topic for uni makes things a little easier for you @creative_writer 

I think it is really hard with trauma to put it into 'categories'. It is like a lot of things. Something that is mild for one person might be a really big deal for another. I can understand our brain wanting to 'rank' our trauma. I think we all have different levels of trauma. I know that I do. Some things I can process quite easily and other things I cannot. Also with some trauma I have been able to talk to my psych about, where as other trauma I have not even told her about.

We all respond to trauma differently hon. It does not make your trauma any less distressing to you. You are allowed to feel any way you want. 

[creative_writer]

@Snowie I’ve been told I minimise and maximise situations, so I’m really trying not to maximise it and make a big deal out of something that could be worse

[Snowie]

We all respond to situations differently @creative_writer Just remember that what ever feelings and thoughts you have, that they are valid and important for you. 

[creative_writer]

@Snowie sometimes I don’t know what’s worse. To experience trauma or be shut down by the people you love. It’s so painful to not have anyone to talk to because they couldn’t hold the space and who told you you could not talk about it with anyone because they didn’t think people were trustworthy

[Snowie]

It is hard to be shut down @creative_writer I have been by some family in the past.

I have realised that I wouldn't want to talk to those people anyway. If they won't listen then they are not worth my time.

I know its not the same hon, but you have us on here that will listen. Sometimes I find it easier as people on here have lived experiences and I can relate to them much more.

[creative_writer]

@Snowie I kept silent for a very long time because I thought I was meant to, it was hard. It meant I had to block everything out, it came to the point none of it felt real. It felt like those memories were no longer mine, so it didn’t hurt. It is easier talking to others with lived experience. I wasn’t expecting things to get this emotional tonight, I’m not even sure what happened, I guess I’m not feeling well physically rn

[Snowie]

I can understand the keeping silent for a long time @creative_writer I hid it for a long time, suppressed it you could say.

I'm not sure what was harder, hiding it or it all coming flooding out.

I'm sorry things have got emotional tonight hon. I am happy to talk about anything if it will help.

[creative_writer]

@Snowie it’s going to hurt more when it floods out if you suppressed it. Years of unexpressed rage has to come out at some point. It can look very strong. But I am realising the reasons behind the pain is more complex than I realised. Trauma is already traumatic enough, but having no safe person and going through it alone makes it harder. It felt like a shameful secret I had to keep, I mean who was going to believe me?

[Snowie]

I think my brain goes into survival mode @creative_writer and stops it from flooding out at times. It does have to come out at some point. Some has, but there is still some suppressed. 

I felt exactly the same hon, who was going to believe me. Who was going to take me seriously. There was enough drama going on in my family that I didn't want to add to it.

You are not alone hon 💗