I can’t cope

[Captain24]

I was nice to get out and not have to walk the massive hill. We just went to Coles. 

HR still hasn’t called. I still don’t know what is going on. I have a gp appointment in the morning and my Pdoc sometime in the afternoon. I just want some answers. 

[Jynx]

Ach yeah waiting for updates and the not knowing is sooooo frustrating hey @Captain24!! Glad you got a nice walk in though 😊 

[Ru-bee]

Yeah, I hear you @Captain24 having it be a bit up in the air would be stressful!

Hopefully tomorrow 🤞

[Captain24]

I just wish I had an answer @Ru-bee @Jynx. It’s not helping with my anxiety. It’s not helping with my mood. I’m still not doing very well. 

[Jynx]

@Captain24 yeah legit hun, I think waiting can be one of the most anxiety-provoking aspects of our lives hey. Have you let the staff know that you're feeling pretty anxious about it all? Maybe someone could sit with you a bit? Sending you some huggles 🫂🫂

[Captain24]

They’re too busy as there is a lot of cat 3’s that need half hour checks. @Jynx. Plus they are mostly agency so I don’t know them. 

Some dumb bitch (another patient) just walked into my room. I hate that we can’t lock the doors. 

I don’t want to be here but I need the med changes. I’m hoping if they are changed it will help me stabilise.

Ive been really tired today. I’m not sure if they gave me the wrong meds or if it’s all the stress. 

[Jynx]

@Captain24 ach, dang. 

Oh wow really? I mean I guess I get it, but yeah, do you get a lot of people just... invading your personal space whilst there? 

Maybe both? The stress of the not-knowing would be pretty exhausting, since it's a constant hey. 

[Captain24]

I’m not feeling real good. @Jynx.

It’s so hard. The nurses just knock and walk in. I have to get changed in the bathroom as they don’t give you a chance to say ‘what a minute’ 

Im so tired. It just feels too much. And yes, the stress is really getting to me. 

I think I should just go to bed and forget that I exist. 

I hate this, I hate myself and I hate my life. I just want to be done. 

[Jynx]

I am sorry that it is all so craptacular @Captain24. If I could reach through my screen I would, I'd grab you in a bear hug and tell you that it's all gonna be okay. I mean I'm doing that mentally right now hehe (🫂🐻)... But I wish I could do it in person too. But it is all gonna be okay hun, I have faith in you.

Yeah bed is a good idea I reckon! Rest is always needed, and it will help reset your brain chemistry a bit, so hopefully you wake up feeling better than you do now. Or at the very least, it will bring you closer to tomorrow, and closer to answers about the next steps. 

I'm off for tonight!! I might see you for PGC tomorrow, or at least around the forums!! Nighty night, and yes, you get Even More Huggles! 🫂🫂🫂

[Captain24]

Thanks @Jynx. Huggles would be nice right now. I just need someone to hold me and tell me that everything will be ok and I’ll end up ok. 

I won’t be on the PGC it’s not a topic that includes me