Hello @PeppiPatty
I just read your post re talking to therapist on Skype! My Psych does this too! Quite inhibiting I find at times and also understand the impulse to hang up!
I think what is really important in therapy is to be listened to, not have your emotions explained by someone who has not experienced the cause of your emotions! I may be wrong but I know from personal experience that explanations are often outside the reality of the experience and only offer something you want to immediately deny because it doesn’t relate to emotion or experience! It feels more like rejection of who you are, especially if you’ve been trying to express some of the pain of that earlier experience!
I was talking about the frustration of my deteriorating body and collecting more medical diagnoses than I could handle and she suggested I might consider a “Voluntary end of life package” which I found quite disconcerting, especially given she didn’t know what drugs they use in these packages or some of the horrendous side effects! It simply felt like total rejection of what I was saying! I felt rejected and told to go away specifically!
I don’t think trying to relate to how the others might have felt, helps us in retrospect deal with the pain!
what helps is having someone listen to the pain! Then we can move on in our own mind to what we want to do about it! And probably never would that be “I need to understand how they were feeling”. More like “Yes that was painful and hurtful, but what can I do now as an adult to protect myself from this pain again”?
speaking from experience though- it’s a constant work in progress and when you’re stuck in pain you just want someone to hear!!! And if you can’t rely on your therapist to hear, then who do you turn to?
sometimes it’s good to cry for the child within who wasn’t cared for and have a plan to provide some nurture to that upset child within so you can then move on again! Sometimes it’s simply a hot cup of tea and a chocolate for me! Things I’d not see in childhood! Other times a walk in the park! When I could walk properly, I’d even walk in the rain as it would suit my mood!
my dog had a coat for the rain and loved it too! Not so current dog! Dachshund who hates getting his paws wet!! Only idiots walk in rain in his opinion!
But important thing I feel is that you find someone to hear and something that says to you, I hurt and I need comfort so this what I will do for this now! It’s good to feel heard and good to feel comforted!
hope someone is listening when you talk!
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