Lived Experience Forum

[Sam16]

Hey, I’m not sure what this website is about. But it might help being about to talk to someone. 
Im 18, my mum passed away of cancer last year and I have been struggling so much ever since. I can’t think straight, I think I could have PTSD maybe, I have horrible flashbacks of watching her take her last breath and watching her so sick was horrible. 
my stepdad passed away 3 months before her, they were meant to get married.

I have terrible anxiety now, struggle to leave the house, or talk to anyone. I’m worried I could lose my job because of how much this grief is consuming me.

I have had other mental health issues in the past, and managed to get a lot better before mum passed away. And I’m worried it’s come back tenfold this time. 
if anyone has any advice, I’m not asking or any diagnosis’ but I would love to know if this sounds similar to anyone else’s illness, and whether or not it is worried getting diagnosed

[Tranquil_Atoms]

Hi @Sam16,

Welcome to the forums. This website is a great place to start, it's helped many find their way.

I've lost people around me but never as close as a parent, so I cannot fully understand what you're going through but I can imagine it is a lot to process.

It's important to care for yourself and take the time you need.

Could you talk with your workplace about what's going on?

Is it possible to take some leave and line up some psychology appointments? 

Stay strong, I know it may not feel it now but things will get better. 

[defaultusername]

Hi @Sam16,

Welcome to the forum and thank you for sharing...

I am very sorry for your loss, it is never easy to lose those we love. I am also sorry that you have been struggling since. Past trauma and anxiety can be horrible, and I can completely relate to the crippling feelings that come with it.

I agree with @Tranquil_Atoms's suggestion of not only taking the time you need to grief and care for yourself, but to also speak to your workplace about flexible working arrangements. And how would it feel to see if it is possible to organise seeing a psychologist?

Also, have you heard of Griefine? They are a support service that are there to listen and support anyone who is grieving. Here are their details if you are interested:

• https://griefline.org.au/
• 1300 845 745 8am-8pm

Please know that you're not alone and that we are all here with you.

And don't forget to be kind to yourself,

defaultusername

[Tranquil_Atoms]

@Sam16 

Hope you are finding your way.

Here if you need to talk. 🙂

[Rollon]

Hi, I feel for you at such a young age going though horrendous grief.  I can't offer you any sort of help.  I know with losing my amazing dad I cried for a year and got three bouts of some sort of sickness where I was bed ridden.  I would start to feel a little better but ended up in bed with chronic issues and it happened three times so for about six months was bed ridden.  It has been over 25 years now and it still hurts.  My mum passed away three years ago and I fell in a black hole and ate myself to death with everything of chocolates and sweet things, put on heaps of weight and gave myself Diabetes, then I just cracked as I was so huge and buying larger size clothing I just went cold turkey on all sweet junk stuff.  I lost all my weight and reversed my diabetes.  But for me the pain of loss will always be with me I will never recover from the loss.  I am on all sorts of medications to help me with depression, anxiety, insomnia.  I have chronic fatigue probably all related to my Hashimotos.  I am still searching and I am 65.  I am who I am and am quite a melancholy person.  I hope someone here on these forums has more help for you.    My thoughts are with you.