Lived Experience Forum

[Molly22]

@BPDSurvivor Thank you for your kind words.  You are very fortunate to have sensory sensitive facilities where you live.  I'm in that weird catch 22, whereby I choose to live pretty remote due to not being able to handle noise and traffic and conflict with neighbours (can't tell you how many times I have moved due to neighbours), but the downside is a severe lack of facilities.  I have a 45 minute drive to the nearest town with any facilities and even those are pretty sparse.  But I wouldn't trade my country views and peace and quite for anything in the world.  Took me a really long time to find an environment that I felt comfortable in.  And yeah it's lonely at times, but peace and my mental health is way more important at this stage of life.

I hope it isn't out of line to mention this, but obviously I couldn't help but notice your 'handle'.  One of the many misdiagnosis I received before being correctly diagnosed ASD, was BPD.  There were many others.  It's a common experience of late diagnosed especially female autists to be given all kinds of labels before someone finally figures it out.  But I did live the BPD experience for a time (sorry if that is the wrong thing to say).  It never really completely fit but I do understand many females are labeled BPD prior to an ASD diagnosis.  I did join a BPD forum for a time but always felt like an imposter.  I could relate to a lot of their experiences though. 

[NatureLover]

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@Molly22 wrote:

I'm glad I'm not the only one who loves to go to bed early.  Since I'm usually up around 5am or earlier, then I feel pretty justified in that decision. 😉

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I find I'm rare in going to bed early and getting up early - do you find that? Most people seem to be night owls!

[BPDSurvivor]

As far as I’m concerned @Molly22 , there’s no right or wrong. If it works for you, go for it! Everyone has preferences. It sounds that for you, moving to a quieter place works for you despite some of its cons - but isn’t that with everyone and everything?

 Every decision I make and each preference I have also has pros and cons. All in all, it’s how we view things.

I’ve worked amongst those who think autism is a curse. By for me, and many others, I embrace any differences and see so many strengths and qualities they can bring into society.

I can relate in some way, because in my lifetime, I think I’ve only met one person who embraces the differences and challenges that come with BPD. When first diagnosed, I hated BPD as it had ‘ruined my life’… over time, I’ve learnt to embrace my BPD and am so proud and grateful to have it. It’s made me a much better person than what I think I would have been if I were BPD-less.

So really, despite challenges, ultimately it is how you view your autism which will help you navigate life - esp in modern society. 

It’s true that in the past, autism was either unheard of or stigmatised. In my line of work, I work tirelessly to eliminate this stigma and develop a shared understanding of diversity and inclusion.

As much as I’m sorry you feel so I’ll-treated in the past, I hope your experiences can bring awareness to the community so we can support you and others in a way that is helpful.

Thsnk you for making connection here on the forums. I feel so privileged to be able to connect with you.

Speak soon,

BPDSurvivor

Hi @NatureLover !

[NatureLover]

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@BPDSurvivor wrote:

Hi @NatureLover !

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Hi @BPDSurvivor ! It's always so good to see you around and read your wise and encouraging responses to everyone. You rock big time!

[Former-Member]

@Rhye I've read the Community Guidelines and while they make sense mostly, they leave room for invalidation and violation of one's right to express themselves freely, too.

[Former-Member]

@Molly22My secret confesssion is staying in the past, oops! I do that all the time. I try to look to my future, but am still seeing nothing as I haven't experienced it yet, nothing futuristic has occurred, just dreams and intentions; yet unless the future is happening, I don't see it. Does this make sense the way I've explained myself?

I'm a bit complicated due to childhood abuses and a permanent disability which was and still is, brushed aside from time to time. Your post is excellent, by the way.
As for posts being removed, I've had this happen too, and sending feedback gets me nowhere so I just keep doing posts anyway, and I simply keep nagging at forum moderators via email until issues are resolved. I don't like discrimination in any way, shape or form.
@Molly22despite these red-tape problems, I hope you keep telling your story! I also hope your sheep recovers well. And isn't it disgraceful in this day and age for businesses to be so patronising when you're just asking for help?! The vet clinic you emailed should have been more than supportive and grateful that you reached out to them. Hopefully you have a better day tomorrow!

[Former-Member]

@Molly22 I also know stress-eating. I can't relate entirely to your current situation and new diagnosis. But I do relate to some symptoms and stress eating (I'm a mixed bag of things, since a teen). Please reach out to us. And there's the SANE webchat service. I've even tried the Suicide Callback webchat service when I'm panicking and becoming impulsive, and they're really good! Can you still email your psychologist? I'm waiting till I can go into a clinic, I frankly dislike Telehealth very much, unless it's urgent and I can't leave home.

[Former-Member]

@Zoe7 Lol speaking of eating, sometimes I eat at 2 in the morning! I only eat at regular times when with support workers or am getting ready for them to arrive. Otherwise I eat when I want, day or night.

[Molly22]

@Former-Member @NatureLover @BPDSurvivor @Zoe7 @Shaz51  and apologises to anyone I have missed (I am sure there are some)

I think I'm done guys.

Just got yet another post returned from the moderators.  I understand there are rules.  I understand the need for rules.  And I don't know if it's cause I am autistic or not, but I just can't handle the level of policing that goes on.  I personally don't care who knows my real identity.  But I don't understand why others would want to keep that private.

It's just not who I am.  As I explained in this initial post, autistic masking is a really hard thing to let go of, but if I am ever to have any genuine quality of life I have to be allowed to be who I am, and that is not allowed here.  It's just more masking, and I really struggle with it.  I have had to edit what I say on so many occasions, and that just mirrors what autistic masking is like in real life.  I'm so tired of hiding behind a false identity.  

BTW, Molly is my cat. 😜😇🤣

[Shaz51]

it is all ok my @Molly22 , sometimes it is hard but it is for our own protection against fraud , ect 

but it is easy to fix as we might just need to edit a word or remove a word 

keep going my awesome friend , love reading your messages xx