Lived Experience Forum

[Jlol]

I'm in my late 30s and have struggled with depression since I was about 6 or 7. I started seeing counsellors when I was 14 and psychologists and psychiatrists when I was 18. I must have seen somewhere between 20 and 30 individuals over 20-odd years, most for at least 10 sessions.

Likewise I've tried many medications - probably about 12.

Thing is nothing has made any difference.

As one psychologist put it "since you had a traumatic event in childhood that made you depressed your brain has grown up with that depression as a pre-condition. You don't have a "normal" blueprint to return to."

I know no one here can properly answer but what do I do?

[hanami]

Hi @Jlol 

Sorry to hear this. 12 medications is a lot to try with no help! I wonder if you've had another psychologist give you advice. I do believe that your brain can changed caused by trauma but I also believe you can heal from that. I'm assuming that your psychologist has trauma therapy training? Don't give up hope, I know it's tough, but I believe things can be better for you.

Warmest wishes

Hanami

[Appleblossom]

@Jlol 

Keep looking; but figure out what does help and what is red flag.

We still need to develop some sense of trust in our own observations even we are also countering unhelpful thoughts or behaviours.

Neuroplasticity is recognised.  Somehow that might be a good thing for you.

Trauma in childhood is very hard.

I am finally getting a little pickier on what works for me, and what does not.

Mostly in the past I used to accept, forgive and put up with it.

Good Luck

[EternalFlower]

@Jlol i relate.

I think for traumatised people things that work for others dont work for us. Non clinical support helps me the most, if there is a PARC facility or non clinical space or a lived experience groor peer work program, i recommend that.

[Delicatessen]

Hi Everyone

I can definitely relate to this. Some two years ago I had this very dilemma. The therapeutic relationship I had with my doctor was a mess and I was distress before during and after pretty much all sessions. I loathed some of the medication I was on but my doctor refused to listen to me or budge an inch. I was desperately unhappy.

So my GP ended up looking up alternative psychiatrists for me and ultimately made a referral on my behalf. I was “accepted” by my current doctor and then had to wait 5 months for my first appointment - all the while still seeing my original doctor while I waited.

My first appointment was strange. The new doctor was younger than me and very supportive and positive - the vibe was so different I felt unsure as to whether she was really genuine. She did, however, immediately take me off the drugs I disliked. I’ve come to really like her and enjoy my visits. I feel comfortable disclosing with her in a way I didn’t before (nothing flash but there you go).

To my surprise all I had to do was call my original doctors reception and announce I was now seeing another doctor. So no stress in having to say “goodbye”.

So while the change took a while it has definitely been worth it. I had no idea how negatively I was feeling about myself at the start.